Recently a friend of mine told me that she and another "old" friend of mine had decided to vote me mom of the year. I chuckled at her. Its just the kind of thing those two Amys would come up with.
Then I had to ask her how that happened. She told me its because I work awful hours full time at a miserable job (all true) and still find the time/patience to be very involved with what my kids are up to. I laughed even harder then. Really? Me?
But it all got me thinking. While I appreciated the praise (especially coming from 2moms who I greatly respect and admire)I really doubted that their thought process was all that accurate. Sure, I try to help out at the schools where I can, which to me is VERY little, and I REFUSE to be a part of the PTA, which to me is just a click/popularity contest for adults. And yes, I go to all the functions I can Class parties, concerts, games, ceremonies. But to me it all seems like very little. I always feel like I'm not doing enough. My need for sleep tends to keep me from doing the amount I feel like I ought to be doing. Do I spend enough "quality time with my kids? Do I them to enough "fun" places? Is it bad that instead of the shoes they REALLY wanted, I bought the ones I could REALLY afford? Am I teaching them all that I want to teach them? Am I raising well rounded individuals that know the importance of thinking for themselves, but also how to treat everyone with respect (even the bullies)?
So now I wonder is this what all moms go through? Stay at home, working, single, married, grown up kids, little kids, new moms, old hands, one child, many children? I know I still had the same concerns back when I was able to be at home with my kids. Am I just being neurotic? Am I just hard on myself? Or am I really not nearly as good a mom as some people seem to think? Its all almost enough to make one's head want to explode.
Mom of the year? I don't know, despite the Amys' declaration, I'm saying the jury's still out on this one.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Slacker's Anonymous
Hello, my name is Brenda and I'm a slacker. And a procrastinator. And sometimes I write out a whole blog only to delete because it seems frivolous, or whiny, or preachy, or just doesn't meet my expectations of myself. This is why I could never be a writer. I am WAY too hard on myself. In school I never wrote a rough draft. If I did I'd never get a paper done. A lot of times if I did write a rough draft I would end up not even turning the paper in because I would agonize about every last little thing. Fortunately by college, I was confident enough in my grammatical skills to just shoot from the hip, hit spell check and turn it in. I allowed myself one read through to make sure spell check didn't miss anything, then it got turned in. More often than not it I got an A. Once I even got singled out. That time I'm pretty sure it is because I made a very good argument. But I digress....its about time I posted a new blog!
I don't do family updates very often because nothing really changes around here. Kids go to school, I go to work. In between there I'm constantly doing laundry, trying to attend as many of the kid's events as I can, and of course I try to get some sleep. Luckily for me, Wes does most of the cooking, and the kids to do a lot of the cleaning, so I have time for sleep. I'm going to hate it when Wes goes back to work because I'll be back on cooking duty more often. But while things don't change much here, there are things to report. We'll go youngest to oldest just to make it easy.
Joel: Successfully finished out kindergarten! With flying colors I might add. Kindergarten awards are different from higher grades. His teacher gave out "candy awards" for the class. Each child got one, using a type of candy to describe an aspect of each child's personality. For example, the class flirt got Kisses, the class giggler got a Snickers. Joel got the 100 Grand award for being the class mathematician. His reading skills are so much improved, he loves pointing out all the words he knows on signs, books, magazines, and on tv. He's still obsessed with Mario and I have to limit his DS time or he'd sit on it all day. Some progress has been made with his toileting issues and I feel like we might finally be getting over a HUGE hurtle there.
Mackenzie: Is off to middle school! She had a very successful year academically and I can't wait to see what she has yet to accomplish. She's looking forward to playing softball in the fall. I'm a little disappointed in the league here, but not everyone can have a program like Kirkland American, and she's really excited about it. She recently celebrated her 11th birthday, but while she looks 8 years old, she can sometimes have the attitude of a 16 year old! She is completely boy crazy. I try to discourage as much as I can without it turning into encouragement. We'll see how that goes in the land of pre-teens this fall. Joey's band teacher really wanted her to be in the band (figuring musical ability ran in the family) but she decided not to. I hardly see her these days. She got a new bike for her birthday so she's off around the neighborhood all day. I usually have to send Joey after her because I still think she's too young for her own cell phone.
Joey: High school? Really?? Oh lord its scary being a parent of a high schooler! But exciting. I don't know who's more jazzed about marching band: him or me. Probably him since I'm the one that has to come up with the fees. But, I'm pretty stoked. I can't wait to go to football games and watch him play, and they are going to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in NYC this year. Mark your calendars, I expect you ALL to be watching. His class schedule is tough, but I'm confident in his ability to make it. He's very focused and motivated about what he wants out of high school and after. I wish I'd been that way. I also wish I could take the credit. But I've never pressured about college. I've only expected him to do the best he can and do things he is passionate about. His artistic ability amazes me. Although everyone else in the family gets to keep samples of his work, but not me. He's got a really cool circle of friends beyond the neighborhood kids that he's developed this year. They're all very down to earth, not too clicky or judgemental and I just love that he has that. This past year he's just grown up so much that I'm just bursting with pride at the young man he is becoming. I am so blessed to have 3 such great kids!
Briana: Is now living with us. Long story short, mom had to move, and has been staying with grandma, and she doesn't like it there, so she's been staying with us. She was going to move here permanently this summer anyway. She wants to go to Summerville high school. She's been playing softball this fall for the first time and shows a lot of potential. Her team is tied for first place, and if it ever stops raining long enough to dry out the field, they could have the play off to decide. She actually spends most of her time at Wes's sister's to be with her cousin. But I know Wes loves having her here. And she's really good at tag team teasing her dad with me, so I've really enjoyed it as well.
Russell: Sore subject, but we still see him every other weekend or so. It is what it is.
Wes: Had back surgery in April and is doing very well. The surgery has helped a lot, but he is looking forward to not having to wear the brace anymore. But for now he's happy that the staples are out. He should start physical therapy at the end of the month.
Me: Well, I already covered me. I could mentioned that due to the nature of my job, I've become an obsessive reader. Normally an average novel would last me a couple months. Now I'm lucky if I get 2 weeks out of one. That's about it, unless you want to hear my rant on shopping at Wal-Mart. What? No takers? Oh well.
I don't do family updates very often because nothing really changes around here. Kids go to school, I go to work. In between there I'm constantly doing laundry, trying to attend as many of the kid's events as I can, and of course I try to get some sleep. Luckily for me, Wes does most of the cooking, and the kids to do a lot of the cleaning, so I have time for sleep. I'm going to hate it when Wes goes back to work because I'll be back on cooking duty more often. But while things don't change much here, there are things to report. We'll go youngest to oldest just to make it easy.
Joel: Successfully finished out kindergarten! With flying colors I might add. Kindergarten awards are different from higher grades. His teacher gave out "candy awards" for the class. Each child got one, using a type of candy to describe an aspect of each child's personality. For example, the class flirt got Kisses, the class giggler got a Snickers. Joel got the 100 Grand award for being the class mathematician. His reading skills are so much improved, he loves pointing out all the words he knows on signs, books, magazines, and on tv. He's still obsessed with Mario and I have to limit his DS time or he'd sit on it all day. Some progress has been made with his toileting issues and I feel like we might finally be getting over a HUGE hurtle there.
Mackenzie: Is off to middle school! She had a very successful year academically and I can't wait to see what she has yet to accomplish. She's looking forward to playing softball in the fall. I'm a little disappointed in the league here, but not everyone can have a program like Kirkland American, and she's really excited about it. She recently celebrated her 11th birthday, but while she looks 8 years old, she can sometimes have the attitude of a 16 year old! She is completely boy crazy. I try to discourage as much as I can without it turning into encouragement. We'll see how that goes in the land of pre-teens this fall. Joey's band teacher really wanted her to be in the band (figuring musical ability ran in the family) but she decided not to. I hardly see her these days. She got a new bike for her birthday so she's off around the neighborhood all day. I usually have to send Joey after her because I still think she's too young for her own cell phone.
Joey: High school? Really?? Oh lord its scary being a parent of a high schooler! But exciting. I don't know who's more jazzed about marching band: him or me. Probably him since I'm the one that has to come up with the fees. But, I'm pretty stoked. I can't wait to go to football games and watch him play, and they are going to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in NYC this year. Mark your calendars, I expect you ALL to be watching. His class schedule is tough, but I'm confident in his ability to make it. He's very focused and motivated about what he wants out of high school and after. I wish I'd been that way. I also wish I could take the credit. But I've never pressured about college. I've only expected him to do the best he can and do things he is passionate about. His artistic ability amazes me. Although everyone else in the family gets to keep samples of his work, but not me. He's got a really cool circle of friends beyond the neighborhood kids that he's developed this year. They're all very down to earth, not too clicky or judgemental and I just love that he has that. This past year he's just grown up so much that I'm just bursting with pride at the young man he is becoming. I am so blessed to have 3 such great kids!
Briana: Is now living with us. Long story short, mom had to move, and has been staying with grandma, and she doesn't like it there, so she's been staying with us. She was going to move here permanently this summer anyway. She wants to go to Summerville high school. She's been playing softball this fall for the first time and shows a lot of potential. Her team is tied for first place, and if it ever stops raining long enough to dry out the field, they could have the play off to decide. She actually spends most of her time at Wes's sister's to be with her cousin. But I know Wes loves having her here. And she's really good at tag team teasing her dad with me, so I've really enjoyed it as well.
Russell: Sore subject, but we still see him every other weekend or so. It is what it is.
Wes: Had back surgery in April and is doing very well. The surgery has helped a lot, but he is looking forward to not having to wear the brace anymore. But for now he's happy that the staples are out. He should start physical therapy at the end of the month.
Me: Well, I already covered me. I could mentioned that due to the nature of my job, I've become an obsessive reader. Normally an average novel would last me a couple months. Now I'm lucky if I get 2 weeks out of one. That's about it, unless you want to hear my rant on shopping at Wal-Mart. What? No takers? Oh well.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Aunt Judy wasn't kidding
I love my aunt Judy. Actually, everyone loves my aunt Judy, she's just got that sparkle. Whenever we went to aunt Judy's she cooked enough food to feed an army. Little did I know this was just a survival tactic. It wasn't for our benefit, it was more about he teenage boys. She used to go on and on about how hard it was to keep those boys fed. Jimmy, the oldest was a bean pole, Billy was beefier, but by no means overweight. These boys reportedly inhaled food constantly like they were about to be shipped off to Ethiopia. To tell you the truth, I never paid much attention. I mean, they're boys, what did I care about how much they ate? I just remember all the talk about it.
Now I know how she feels and I only have to feed one teenage boy. It's like the boy turned 13 and overnight developed a tape worm. I can't keep this boy fed. I try to stock the freezer with things he can heat up and snack on between meals (hot pockets, chicken nuggets, pizza rolls) and he still eats dinner like he hasn't seen food in a week. And where does it all go? I have no idea. He's a bean pole like Jimmy. Just keeps getting taller.
Here's an example:
Tonight I made homemade macaroni and cheese. Usually, I make it in a 9x9" dish. But, knowing how my son eats, I made a double batch in my 13x9" dish. Not even a 1/4 of it is left. And he still ate dessert! Is there an assitance program for families with teenage boys? Kinda like WIC. you know where I can get things like milk and cheese? Because I think I need it more now that when I had it for these kids and myself when I was pregnant and they were little.
Now I know how she feels and I only have to feed one teenage boy. It's like the boy turned 13 and overnight developed a tape worm. I can't keep this boy fed. I try to stock the freezer with things he can heat up and snack on between meals (hot pockets, chicken nuggets, pizza rolls) and he still eats dinner like he hasn't seen food in a week. And where does it all go? I have no idea. He's a bean pole like Jimmy. Just keeps getting taller.
Here's an example:
Tonight I made homemade macaroni and cheese. Usually, I make it in a 9x9" dish. But, knowing how my son eats, I made a double batch in my 13x9" dish. Not even a 1/4 of it is left. And he still ate dessert! Is there an assitance program for families with teenage boys? Kinda like WIC. you know where I can get things like milk and cheese? Because I think I need it more now that when I had it for these kids and myself when I was pregnant and they were little.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Two months? Really?
Holy wow, its been a while, and I'm pretty sure that my sister is angry with my lack of posts.
I've been going through a lot of personal, lets not share with the entire world wide web kind of stuff, so its been hard to come up with those little things that go well in a blog.
I've been dreaming lately of a really nice vacation somewhere sunny and pampering and beautiful and interesting. But, bnot until atleast next year. Other priorities that need to be addressed first. But, they're nice dreams.
Work has been mellow lately. Yeah, I still hear some lovely words from some residents, but that's just par for the course. I've also learned to just nod my head and deal with my boss, and to just let go of the frustrations over the way the place is run. It makes for a slightly less stressfull work environment. Ok, I'm lying, I do not get a long at all with one of our new employees, but fortunately the way our schedules are, I actually work with her less than anybody else on my shift. It's just weird not getting along with someone, I get along with everyone. I'm an easy going kind of gal.
The kids are doing great. Joey is gearing up for lots of band stuff this spring. The state band festival is soon, and that is their big thing for the year. He's all set for his classes for freshman year, he even got in the honors science that combines bio and chem into one year, so it frees up a credit for sophmore year. You need a teacher reccomendation for that, and he didn't think he'd get it. So we're excited about that. He also got into the one and only AP class they offer freshman year. Geography, teacher reccomendation also required.
Mackenzie also just signed up for her 6th grade classes. She was passed on to the middle school GATE classes, and is ging to try dance, steel drum band, foreign language, and pre engineering for her electives. She's on the math team for her school, and the district competition is coming up in April. She actually voluntarily gave up all of her other after school activities to focus on this.
Joel. Well, Joel has always been my challenge. On one hand, he seems the one child that learns a thing the first time he's told/taught, and hardly ever has to be reminded about things. On the other hand, he's a little too ingenious with how to get around the rules. He's been having some regression issues here and there, so its a battle sometimes, but he sure makes life interesting. He absolutely idolizes Joey. He's got lots of new friends in the neighborhood, so he doesn't feel left out anymore when his brother and sister are out playing with their friends. Sorry, Joey doesn't "play". he "hangs out" with his friends.
Wes is waiting to hear about his worker's comp on two levels. He's decided to go for the surgery, we're just waiting for approval from worker's comp. And were waiting to see how much if any compensation he's entitled to since he's been out of work. At the very least, he'll be reimbursed for travel expenses for all the doctor's visits and what not. Right now its a waiting game.
Oh, and Sassy has been attending dog training at PetSmart. She's doing pretty well, but still has hyperactive issues, and attention issues. Yes, I think our dog is ADHD.
Pictures soon, I promise, just need to get them onto the computer first.
I've been going through a lot of personal, lets not share with the entire world wide web kind of stuff, so its been hard to come up with those little things that go well in a blog.
I've been dreaming lately of a really nice vacation somewhere sunny and pampering and beautiful and interesting. But, bnot until atleast next year. Other priorities that need to be addressed first. But, they're nice dreams.
Work has been mellow lately. Yeah, I still hear some lovely words from some residents, but that's just par for the course. I've also learned to just nod my head and deal with my boss, and to just let go of the frustrations over the way the place is run. It makes for a slightly less stressfull work environment. Ok, I'm lying, I do not get a long at all with one of our new employees, but fortunately the way our schedules are, I actually work with her less than anybody else on my shift. It's just weird not getting along with someone, I get along with everyone. I'm an easy going kind of gal.
The kids are doing great. Joey is gearing up for lots of band stuff this spring. The state band festival is soon, and that is their big thing for the year. He's all set for his classes for freshman year, he even got in the honors science that combines bio and chem into one year, so it frees up a credit for sophmore year. You need a teacher reccomendation for that, and he didn't think he'd get it. So we're excited about that. He also got into the one and only AP class they offer freshman year. Geography, teacher reccomendation also required.
Mackenzie also just signed up for her 6th grade classes. She was passed on to the middle school GATE classes, and is ging to try dance, steel drum band, foreign language, and pre engineering for her electives. She's on the math team for her school, and the district competition is coming up in April. She actually voluntarily gave up all of her other after school activities to focus on this.
Joel. Well, Joel has always been my challenge. On one hand, he seems the one child that learns a thing the first time he's told/taught, and hardly ever has to be reminded about things. On the other hand, he's a little too ingenious with how to get around the rules. He's been having some regression issues here and there, so its a battle sometimes, but he sure makes life interesting. He absolutely idolizes Joey. He's got lots of new friends in the neighborhood, so he doesn't feel left out anymore when his brother and sister are out playing with their friends. Sorry, Joey doesn't "play". he "hangs out" with his friends.
Wes is waiting to hear about his worker's comp on two levels. He's decided to go for the surgery, we're just waiting for approval from worker's comp. And were waiting to see how much if any compensation he's entitled to since he's been out of work. At the very least, he'll be reimbursed for travel expenses for all the doctor's visits and what not. Right now its a waiting game.
Oh, and Sassy has been attending dog training at PetSmart. She's doing pretty well, but still has hyperactive issues, and attention issues. Yes, I think our dog is ADHD.
Pictures soon, I promise, just need to get them onto the computer first.
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